“You Get to Ride in a Helicopter and Everything” — G.W. Tries to Convince Brother Jeb Bush to Run for President

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Bushes HOUSTON — Former President George W. Bush is reportedly trying his darndest to convince his baby brother to keep up the family tradition and run for the highest office in the land according to a report today in the Houston Chronicle.

“Great eats, people saluting you, weekly pedicures and free box seats at NFL games are among the pitches George W. Bush is using to pressure his brother Jeb to run for President in 2016,” read the front page Chronicle article.

“Being able to whack bad guys whenever you want also seems to be a big selling point G.W. is using,” continued the article.

With both his parents opposed to Jeb chasing the Republican nomination saying “Enough already,” the former Florida Governor has not tipped his hand but documents filed in Washington show he and his team have raised more than $64 million with Koch-backed PACS promising another $150 million for misleading TV ads.

Jeb (61) would be the third Bush to serve as a Republican President. His father George H.W. Bush (89) was President for one term from 1989 to 1993, and his big brother George W. Bush (67) was in office from 2001 to 2009 and is now an artist.

“The Bush brothers talk about a lot of things…philosophy, micro- and macro-economics, spirituality, #BringBackOurGirls…but those are private conversations between loving siblings,” Bush spokeswoman Danielle Perry told CNN’s Wolf Blitzer (not his real name).

“Mr. Bush is considering his options and one of them obviously is to run to make sure that Hillary Clinton doesn’t get her stubby fingers on America’s red nuclear bomb switch.”

“She’s got a brain injury, did you know?”

Dan LeHomme
Reportering for The Lapine

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